The Red Shirt of DOOM!
by WhatUpMyPeeps
Summary: Or in which Leon notices something important, bandits are idiots, Elyan has a plan, Merlin is mugged (sort of), and Arthur is confused. Slight Crack! Possible OoCness. No Slash. Rated K for one swear word, it's Gwaine, what did you expect?


**Hello Merlin fandom! This is my first story for this fandom so I hope you enjoy. This I based on something that I noticed while re-watching the episodes on my numerous unplanned days off from school. :D So go back and watch almost any episode, it should be there.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin. **

* * *

"Hey, Elyan." Said Leon as he rode up next to his fellow knight on horseback.

"What is it, Leon?" Asked the younger knight.

"I've noticed something, something important." Answered Leon. He was forced to raise his voice slightly in order to be heard over Gwaine's retelling of why he will never be caught in a tavern with a pineapple, a chicken, and an inn keeper wielding a spatula ever again. Personally Leon didn't really want to know what had happened.

"What have you noticed?" Elyan questioned.

"It's Merlin." Was all that Leon responded with.

"Merlin, what's wrong with Merlin? Asked Elyan again. Leon was getting annoyed by all of Elyan's consent questions. _Although_, he mused, _maybe if I gave better answers he wouldn't need to ask so many questions. Nah,_ he decided, _that couldn't possibly be the answer. Elyan was just naturally inquisitive._

"It's not Merlin. It's his shirt. It's red." By now Elyan was wondering where Leon was going with this. It wasn't often that the older knight was this ambiguous; it was very disconcerting to Elyan.

"Indeed it is, but I am failing to see the problem here." Leon sighed. Apparently, Elyan wasn't getting it and needed a better explanation.

"Haven't you noticed that almost every time Merlin wears that red shirt something bad happens? Mark my words something bad will happen today."

"No, I haven't noticed, Leon, but now that you mention it…." He trailed off lost in thought. Elyan took a moment to remember the various scrapes that he had gotten into with the clumsy manservant. He was surprised to realize that Leon was right. In nearly every one of those memories that red shirt was present. Elyan's musing was cut short by Percival's shout of warning.

"Look out!"

Elyan ducked just in time to avoid an arrow that was headed straight for his head. He immediately dismounted and unsheathed his sword. He was surrounded by three bandits that had run down the hill above the path. He easily took them down. All that it took was a slash here, a parry there, and a few quick stabs and the battle was over.

Leon was honestly surprised by the bandits stupidity; ten of them vs. the King of Camelot and four of his best knights. The bandits never stood a chance. Shortly after they had remounted and went off in search of campsite for the night, Leon was approached by Elyan.

"Leon I think you're right."

"Of course I am. We must do something about that horrible shirt."

"You're in luck, Leon, because I have a plan." Elyan leaned closer to Leon, careful not to fall off his horse, and told him his plan.

* * *

About an hour later, they had found the perfect campsite, made camp, and were now sitting around the fire waiting for Merlin to make the rabbits into stew.

Leon quickly glanced at Elyan, who gave him the signal for their, cough Elyan's cough, plan to be put into action. They both leaped at the same time and latched onto Merlin, attempting to rip the shirt off his back.

Gwaine, Percival, and Arthur were startled by the sudden movement and Merlin's vocal protests.

"Ow! What the heck, guys! Get off me!"

"I got it!" Yelled Elyan holding up the torn shirt in victory.

"Great! Now, quickly burn it with fire!" Screamed Leon. This sentence barely registered with Arthur. _Burn what_? Was his only thought as he watched with his mouth open as Elyan tossed Merlin's red shirt into the fire.

Merlin arose from where he had been laying on the ground.

"Hey, what was that for?! You burned my favorite shirt!" He yelled indignantly.

"Oh, so you like getting us into trouble, do you?" Replied Elyan.

"What are you on about?" Asked Merlin, who was still miffed over the loss of his shirt.

Leon responded in a slightly accusing tone of voice, "Every time you wear that shirt something bad happens! We had to destroy it if we wanted to keep up our record of having lived this long. By destroying it we vastly increased our chances of surviving!"

"That's crazy! You're crazy! How can my shirt be responsible for every bad thing that happens to us?"

"If you think that's true," challenged Elyan, "then how do you explain the earlier bandit attack, hmmm?" He had a satisfied smirk on his face, as if he thought Merlin wouldn't have an answer to his question.

Merlin in turn looked at Elyan as if he was a bit slow, and said as if he were explaining something to a small child, "Uh, well they were bandits hiding out in the woods. We were travelers passing through the area they planned to ambush. The bandits saw us and attacked us. There, end of story."

Gwaine added in with a smile, "You forgot the part where we fought the bandits and I kicked ass."

"Shut up, Gwaine!" Snapped Leon. "Your point doesn't prove anything Merlin. You were still wearing the red shirt."

"You know what, I give up! You two are hopeless! I'll just buy myself a new red shirt when we get back to Camelot."

Leon and Elyan's eyes widened in shock and a look of horror flashed across their faces before they screamed in unison.

"Noooooooo! Are you trying to get us killed?!"

"Oh, would you two just shut up!" Ordered Merlin. And shut up they did. In actuality they numbly sat down and stared blankly into the fire, but they were quiet so it still counts.

Merlin looked over at them slightly concerned, but mostly pleased that they had finally shut up. He then looked at Gwaine and asked, "Could I borrow your extra shirt; it's cold out. Gwaine nodded his consent and went to fetch the requested item from his pack.

Arthur shook himself out of his stupor and turned to Percival, and asked confused, "What just happened?"

Percival simply raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "I'm not sure, sire. I'm really not sure."

* * *

**Whew! That's it. Word count 1,003. So close to 1,000 on the nose. Oh, well close enough. It was surprisingly hard to write for Elyan and Leon, but I think I managed to pull it off. This is un-beated so if you spot any mistakes don't hesitate to tell me. I hope you enjoyed this or it at least brought a smile to your face!**

**Peace,**

**~Peeps **


End file.
